APP: Champions Online, @zerohalo

[Cheapdad]

Which game(s) are you joining us in? Champions Online

Are you over 18? (you must be 18+ to apply) Indeed. I'm older than dirt.

Are you a member of any other guild in that game? Nope.

What is the name of the character(s) you intend to join with? Good lord, I have to choose? I'm an altaholic, man! Let's go with, Seishin@zerohalo.

Do you have friends or family in the guild? If so what is their forum name? Nope.

Did you read our charter and rules? Which rules translation was your favorite? I read the rules. I enjoyed the Norwegian translation the best, mostly because there is no translation for 'Ninja Looting'. Plus it had all sorts of nifty squiggle characters.

Do you have an issue using Ventrilo? (Being able to at least listen is critical for active participation in PvP/raids) Nope. I don't have a headset at the moment, though. Hopefully that'll be rectified in the near future.

Answer the following 4 questions. PROTIP: if your answer is shorter than the question, we will make fun of you for being boring.
1. Tell us the story of the dumbest, funniest or most embarrassing thing you've ever done: Look, the thing about me is that I do so many dumb, funny and embarassing things that after a while it all kinda runs together. Ok, how about this: One time I was having a conversation with a neighbor about her new baby boy and she said that he had hemophilia, the genetic disorder where blood doesn't clot. She then tried to make the best of the conversation and said, "I guess that means he has blue blood," as a reference to kings of yore (yore: it's a word, look it up) often having hemophilia. Me, being the suave individual then said, "Oh right, they all died off because of that." Cue the facepalming.

Probably the dumbest thing I've ever done was marry my first wife. Kids, don't marry the first woman who shows you their... oh wait, better not go there.

2. What is your Zombie Plan? First, eat the babies and the fat people, because they're going to either be stationary or slow. Then, go after the mother of the baby, because she'll be crying on the floor cuz I just ate her kid. After that, maybe I'll get turned into a zombie and do some REAL damage.

3. Tell us something cool about yourself that has nothing to do with gaming: I have introduced my kids to old 80's movies. How many kids these days love watching Karate Kid (the original), Real Genius and Ghostbusters? I realize that I'm not supposed to put anything about games in here, but I do a bit of podcasting. If you've ever listened to AppSlappy, I'm the Cheap Dad. That alone should either get me in, or banned from the forum.

I am a hopeless and stubborn romantic. I fell in love with a woman not more than 2 weeks after getting divorced, and roughly a year later got married and moved across the country to Texas. For the record, I hate Texas. A lot. Everything there wants to eat, bite, burn or poison you. We had so many feral cats around our place that my wife shot at them with her handgun, and would occasionally sever their heads with a shovel. I especially liked the time she wrapped up a feral kitten in bubble wrap and threw it over the fence where our neighbor's horse-dogs were. That's one of the reason's I married her, she's nuts. Had to be to marry me.

Thankfully, we've since moved from Texas to the DC area.

4. If you were us, why would you vote you into The U? Because when the zombie apocalypse does finally arrive, I'll eat you guys last. Except for that guy over there. You know who I'm talking about.

Anyways, I'd vote me in if you guys were really short on perverted, twisted, 30-something dudes. Otherwise, I'd vote me in because every day when I walk to work I get to see the Washington Monument. How cool is that? You want to touch me now, don't you?

Quick survey! We will totally judge you by the answers you give below:
• Favorite Type of Music: Honestly, I'm not a big music listener. But when I do listen, it's usually rock or techno.
• Favorite Movie: Too big of a movie buff to pin it down to just one. Although over the last couple of days I've had the itch re-watch True Lies. Jamie Curtis dance scene... *unintelligble drooling*
• Favorite Book: Not much of a reader. However, I really loved Elfstones of Shannara. I still think that's Terry Brook's best novel.
• Favorite Non MMO Game: Depends on the genre. For RPG's, Planescape : Torment. There has never been a better story told in a game. For RTS, Starcraft... and it's killing me slightly that I haven't bought SC2 yet. For action/rpg, Mass Effect 1 & 2. Basically, if a game has a really good story that doesn't require a flow chart to follow (I'm looking at you Final Fantasy series), I'm in.

[Zandar1]

I could go on, but there's probably a theoretical limit to how big this application should be.

You're not there yet, I can tell you that.

Pretty decent start, but feel free to expand on your experiences. Take a look at the accepted apps section to get a feel for what we're looking for (and the rejected ones to see...the opposite of that).

Also, look us up in game on the WildCards channel.

[ChefBourdain]

[color=#008000][b]4. If you were us, why would you vote you into The U? Because when the zombie apocalypse does finally arrive, I'll eat you guys last. Except for that guy over there. You know who I'm talking about.

Protip: that's not a banana I'm holding.

It is tragic that Jamie Lee Curtis has gone from sexy dance scene kitten in True Lies to pooping-enhancing yogurt pitchwoman. I do hope she makes another movie, which combines sexy dancing, pooping, and yogurt all in a single epic scene. A jacuzzi full of yogurt. Aww yeah, mama.

Ahem. So, what's your podcast thingie all about?

[Cheapdad]

Dude... Jamie Lee Curtis + Two Girls + One Cup of Poop Enhancing Yogurt = FUN.

First off, I updated my app with a bit more personal info.

Secondly, AppSlappy is a podcast about the iPhone/iPod touch/iPad, news, reviews, etc. It's not my show, but rather a guy who has a whole network of successful podcasts. I've been listening to his shows for years so one day I pitched an idea to him for a bit on AppSlappy where I review cheap games for the iPhone. It started out pretty mundane, but it's turned into something like a 3 minute sketch. I'll post a couple links to episodes on my dropbox account.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4007182/Gundead%20Defense%20-%20Final.m4a

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4007182/Super%20Quick%20Hook%20-%20Final.mp3

[ChefBourdain]

You participate in killing cats? Man, that's got be be worth like +37 Chef Points right there.



Little meowing bastards

[Death_Rictus]

We had so many feral cats around our place that my wife shot at them with her handgun, and would occasionally sever their heads with a shovel. I especially liked the time she wrapped up a feral kitten in bubble wrap and threw it over the fence where our neighbor's horse-dogs were.

I'm pretty sure that's one of the stops on the way to Serialkillerville...

[Cheapdad]

We had so many feral cats around our place that my wife shot at them with her handgun, and would occasionally sever their heads with a shovel. I especially liked the time she wrapped up a feral kitten in bubble wrap and threw it over the fence where our neighbor's horse-dogs were.

I'm pretty sure that's one of the stops on the way to Serialkillerville...

And?

[Death_Rictus]

We had so many feral cats around our place that my wife shot at them with her handgun, and would occasionally sever their heads with a shovel. I especially liked the time she wrapped up a feral kitten in bubble wrap and threw it over the fence where our neighbor's horse-dogs were.

I'm pretty sure that's one of the stops on the way to Serialkillerville...

And?

That, luckily for you, I don't have a no vote for your branch.

Hunting is one thing, as is extermination to eliminate a problem. Sadistic killing of wild animals is something else entirely.

[CptSquash]

Nothing like a little Animal Cruelty to warm everyones heart.


I am not an advocate for PETA but I also don't know what to think about this portion of the application

Anyways, I'd vote me in if you guys were really short on perverted, twisted, 30-something dudes.

.

We have our quota.

4. If you were us, why would you vote you into The U? Because when the zombie apocalypse does finally arrive, I'll eat you guys last.

So what you are saying here is that you are going to end up a zombie and fodder for my double barrel.

Favorite Movie: Too big of a movie buff to pin it down to just one. Although over the last couple of days I've had the itch re-watch True Lies. Jamie Curtis dance scene... *unintelligble drooling*

I think she would qualify as GMILF now. But I think it would a turn off because she has to talk about being regular. Asking if you have eaten your bran today.

Gonna reserve judment on this application. Watch how this all pans out.

[HomerNZ]

I know I'm new around here.. but as a relatively able expert at injuring people with my hands I'd have to say that if I saw anyone (this includes your wife) bubble wrapping an animal and feeding it to another animal while still alive then you'd best be prepared for the inevitable destruction that would befall you. You might also want to get familiar with the large amount of time you would spend ingesting items that used to be solid through a straw.

Edit: Us poor folks in New Zealand are too back dated to own televisions and get infomercials that don't feature David Carradine advertising miscellanous wobbling fitness instruments. Can someone link me to this miraculous regularity-yoghurt ad you speak of?